Someone died. Someone I didn't even know but has nonetheless effected my life. Not me personally but someone who is very important to me. He was my girlfriend's ex husband, Kevin. From what I've heard he led a tortured life. Among other things, he had epilepsy. Last night he had a seizure, hit his head and died, alone. My girlfriend just called me and let me know. She was upset even though it had been years since she talked to him. I never know what to say so I just listened and silently damned myself for having a retarded emotional intelligence.
News like this always makes me think how fleeting this existence is. I often do anyways. I'm an atheist so when you're gone, I believe, you're gone. At best the energy in your body just slips away and whatever made you you is now unrecognizable. Without a brain there is no soul. So what solace do I have? How do I go on knowing that everything is pretty much meaningless? I don't know. Its probably more instinct than intellect anymore and the fact that leaving anytime soon would probably hurt the ones around me. There was a time when I was more optimistic. I looked forward to a time, maybe even within our generation that the disease of aging will have a cure and possibly be reversed. But to what end is that even a remarkable goal? To live forever? The universe loves entropy and seems to want nothing but nothing in the trillions of years it has left as solid matter. The quest for eternal life, be it a soul in heaven or a body made perfect, will always be a distraction for us. A distraction from the only thing that matters. Now. Now is all that matters. The end of suffering here and now should be the only goal. Quality, not quantity, of life is all that matters. That quantity, not just represented in longevity but in the sheer amount of life. In other words more lives makes more suffering. To create another life at all is just creating more inevitable suffering. The energy that makes all of us is finite. To think otherwise is to believe in some kind of infinite magic. Death is the ultimate end of our suffering and when its time is due we should all look forward to it thankfully. There should be no sorrow when it happens as other life now has a chance to grow stronger. At least for a while. Try to live well while you can.
If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know what to say either. Listening at a time like this can often be the best thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of what you wrote - some of it I agree with & some I don't-some I'm not quite sure what you mean but that's o.k. I surely agree that the QUALITY of one's life matters so much more than quantity. And there is so much each of us can do to improve that quality, but don't take the time to do.
I do agree that life is fleeting and we should try to live in the moment more (was a big fan of Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now when it came out)-we should take the time to be connected with those we care about, rather than saying "I'll call later" when there are so many truly meaningless tasks in the grand scheme of things that require our immediate attention. Dealing with things we can actually do something about right now rather than worrying about the past or things that might happen in future would also be a good use of our limited time in these physical forms.
I think we're all really here to learn, incidentally teach each other in the process and the soul moves on with the knowledge gained (without the body). I know that's not your belief and I won't ram it down your throat. Just sharing my opinion.
Thanks Dawn :)
ReplyDelete